Process of Growth

 

Fitness motivation: Process of growth

One personal area I am working on is relinquishing control. It wasn’t until this last year…more precisely in the last few months that I realized I struggled so often with this.  

I am SO grateful I have had my eyes opened!!!!  

For me, subconsciously I was trying to be helpful…my intentions were simply that.  

Without directly saying it I was saying “ I know how to do/manage/resolve this situation better than you”…let me help you.  

Seeking control feels like a recipe for a superiority complex…and a lot of unnecessary pressure to “help” others taking me away from the energy to care for myself.  

What I am learning: 

• All control is based in fear.
• When I surrender my control of others I can’t control anyways, what I am really doing is letting go of a costly coping mechanism.
• Control is NOT attractive 
• Empowering others to own their own choices and life feels so dang good!!!!
• I realize I have a LONG way to go on this journey, but I also know that I WANT to make this change.  
• I would benefit from practicing setting boundaries 

As I workout today I focus on controlling each movement…my mental focus and the effort I put into each movement. 

Fitness Wins: 

30 min weight workout

3 mile walk

Permission to start over

 I can always start over each hour. 

Fitness Motivation: Start over.

We all have the days when we don't make the best or healthiest decisions.  Today was one of those days for me.  The last two days I have struggled with anxiety, overthinking, and empath symptoms of feelings others' pain/hurt/stress, and it has been taking its toll. Today I awoke around 2 am and I couldn't get back to sleep, no matter what I tried.  

By the end of lunch, I had consumed a hot chocolate, not 1....not 2....but 3 Krispy Kreme raspberry filled donuts and a Deluxe Tostada from Taco Tico.  

What followed was intense fatigue, eaters' remorse/guilt and a terrible belly ache.  Despite how AMAZING it all tasted...it didn't feel worth it in the end.  

As soon as I left work, I was planning on going straight home to rest.  

NO... I will not go home to rest.  I changed my self-talk from all the reasons I can't work out to encouragement to get back up and do what I need to do despite how I feel right now.  Being disciplined today means showing up to the gym to get my workout in....no matter what.  So, that's what I did.  

Upon arriving to the little gym across the street, I quickly noticed it was 82 degrees inside.  With my already upset stomach, this was the perfect reason to go home and "come back later".  However, I coached myself into staying: "C'mon girl, stick it out"... I decided to prop the door open to allow some airflow.  No excuses. 

After my workout, I went home, changed my shoes, harnessed my puppy, and went outside for an evening walk.  The weather was cool and the wind calm.  As I walked, I got to watch the sky light up with colors as the sun made its final descent.  I found this so peaceful.  

Just before completing my walk, I got to share conversation with a friend who reminded me to surrender my stress and anxiety to the one upstairs who can handle it and find some laughter in my day.  What a breath of fresh air the conversation was!

I used my self-talk to get back up from my poor choices earlier and make a better evening.  That's a win!

I'm really glad I stayed disciplined.  It's just before 7 pm and I am feeling optimistic, confident, and proud of myself.  

Fitness Wins:

30 min weighted workout

4.15 mile walk

Music Motivation: Fight on, Fighter by for King & Country

Making the most of what I have

Fitness motivation- Making the most of what I have

 This morning I go outside and walk laps around the driveway at work in search of some activity to get my blood flowing.

Around and around I go like a hamster in a wheel… lol

Each lap is equivalent to .10 miles…so 10 of these laps and I’ll have a mile done!  

While it’s not my ideal choice of activity I’m happy about my willingness to get active.  

Sometimes like isn’t like a box of chocolates, but it’s still sweet!  

Fitness Wins:

1 mile of driveway laps

2.6 mile walk with Oakley

Cabbage soup for dinner

Feeling energized

I am manifesting my dream life 🌺

After a few days of being home from California, I feel my energy level return to a semi-normal state.  I’m feeling excited to get some things done today!  

Taking a break from the gym these last few days has left me feeling revitalized!  I decide to leave my Suby parked and I ride my bike to the gym today.  Although the air is very cold, doing this makes the city feel smaller…leaving me feeling more connected.   Plus it’s more time being active, and it saves gas!  Woop woop!

My day is filled with various different activities and people.  When I lay my head down at the end of the day I feel proud of the hard work I put into today!  

I’m grateful for the extra hour to enjoy today!

I work hard…

I am content…

I do not have a boring life!  

Fitness Wins:

40 min gym workout with weights 

1 hr raking leaves with Madz

30 mins playing tennis with Jayce and Lexi

3.6 mile walk with Shannon

Day 8- Connection time

Today’s fitness goal: Connection 

Sometimes the goal is to find connection through fitness.  This can take the form of connecting with God, self, or others.  Today, the intention was a little bit of all three.  

Allan had planned this day together in nature for a while before my arrival.  

The rivers and lakes were starting to freeze…it was beautiful to see!!

Look at how cute we are!!

Breaking ice adventures has got to be one of the coolest things ever!  The deep thud sound the ice chunk makes as it crashes down on the frozen surface just before splitting off into small little ice fragments is fascinating!!  

Remnants of ice breaking 

I’m head over hills in love with high country…what a magical place!  During this adventure I laughed, I cried, I challenged myself physically, and my cup was filled with connection!

Just look at this….ahhhhhhhh!!!!

It was a moderate hike to get to this point…just a little farther Allan would say…I knew something epic was coming!  Then we got to this point…The view from this point was unbelievable…just another moment where I look out and realize just how beautiful life really is.  The creator of this masterpiece also created me…. Dang!!!

It was fun to hang out in the old rustic miner’s cabin!!  My imagination went wild trying to picture what life was like here for the inhabitants!

After hanging out for a bit at the cabins…we make our way to the peak that separates the Walker Lake trail from the Spillway Lake Trail.  I remember standing at the bottom of this peak thinking…’ I don’t have it in me to go up that’!  

The  journey was hard…steep…. but surprisingly short lived.  I was surprised how quickly we made it to the top!  

Exhausted…but grateful I endured, for the trail back along the river was gorgeous!  I am again reminded of my ability that is far greater than I realize.  

Here’s my Allan!!  

You can see the trail winding along the valley as far as the eyes can see…such a cool perspective!

The views were breathtaking!!  Thank you Allan for such a beautiful and challenging adventure out into nature to connect our souls with each other and nature!  My heart is full!!

“Wonderful how completely everything in wild nature fits into us, as if truly part and parent of us.  The sun shines not on us, but in us.  The rivers flow not past, but through us, thrilling, tingling, vibrating every fiber and cell of the substance of our bodies, making them glide and sing.”

John Muir

Fitness wins:

Walker Lake Trail-connection to Spillway Lake Trail- 11.4 miles

Day 7: Wellness

Today's fitness focus: Wellness

Today was an easy day...a day to let my body rest and go at it's own pace.  

Life can be hectic, therefore engaging in time to refresh my body from the inside out is a part of complete wellness.  

Do you see what I see?  Meow...

We made our way to Lower Yosemite Falls where we enjoyed rock scrambling to get closer to the falls.  As I stood there watching and listening to the sounds of the water making its way down the granite rock my mind began to wander.  Without judgment or any timelines to meet, my mind was allowed to be it's own boss.  In moments like these, I often think about how small my problems really are.  I think about the Grace and power God has and how he continually shows up for me.  The mountains are my ultimate church time experience.  

There's a saying:

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.  

As the sun began to set we made our way outside to absorb the beauty that God ends each day with.  The way the granite rocks lights up is something I've never experienced before.  It's always a guessing game what color/s might be seen. 

Fitness Wins:

Time and space for mind wandering

Rest and relaxation to recharge

Rock scrambling for fun 

Music Inspiration: 

Shoulders by for King and Country

 

Day 6- Goal Achieving

Today’s fitness focus was Goal Achieving!  

This was my first full day in Yosemite National Park.  I can’t help but head for the trails!   With Allan at work today, I get a solo day of exploration.  Today, I’m venturing out onto a ‘new to me’ trail.  I decided on the Four mile trail.  It looks pretty challenging, plus I’d heard the views along the path are amazingly magical!  

The air was crisp and cold as I started my ascend.  The first hour was uncomfortably cold, even though I had ALL my layers on to stay warm.  

The trail was straight up for the first 4 1/2-ish miles.  The views I anticipate coming are definitely what kept me pushing on!

About 2 miles up the trail I start to question my ability to complete this hike.  I feel myself sucking air and my legs are feeling like rubber.  I consider the ‘heavier than necessary’ pack I’m hauling, as I see a couple fellow hikers with a small backpack…if anything.   I realize that most of what I'm carrying is fear based in some way.  You know, 'just in case' kind of stuff that more than likely I'll never use on this hike.  In the future, I can work on packing lighter.  😉

The thought processing of how I pack my bag keeps me distracted long enough to forget about my self-doubts.   I see another clearing up ahead and I hurry to get to the view.   I stop and stare at the incredible beauty…

There is no longer a question about quitting, I must go on. 

Every time I see an opportunity where the trail offers another glimpse of the majestic mountain beauty I must stop.  It almost appears like each view reveals a little bit more than the last…how cool!!  

Almost to the top…I know what awaits me there! ❤️

Phew…I did it!

…pushing through the struggle allotted me this spectacular view!!  

Today's fitness wins:

Four mile trail Yosemite: 10.66 miles 3458 elevation gain 

Total hiking time: 6 hours 2 minutes 

MUSIC inspiration:

Get Up by Shinedown